to be able to have the words spill out of you and form perfectly on the page is amazing.

i am in total envy of heather, for my words come akwardly as the rest of me does.

my over-analitical mind jumps in and i am no longer satisfied with her saying she needed me. beucase i shouldnt get this up from that. becuase i should have my own life and not be willing to drop my life for her, i would, if i was ever given the option. maybe one day she'll see it. and maybe another day ill stop being a 5 year old boy so she wants it.

ive been thinking about alana lately and how much i really do miss her. and i really want to call her and hang out with her but im scared. i see my own actions in others and think they are joined with my thoughts.